I’d like to set the record straight.
I WANT to win this argument discussion. I NEED to see you’ll stick to your guns.
I WANT you to pretend you didn’t see me roll my eyes. I NEED you to not put up with it.
I WANT you to not mention that I forgot my cell phone again. I NEED to know it upsets you because you care so deeply for my safety.
I WANT to walk away and not listen when you are reminding me (again) I have certain responsibilities around here. I NEED you to keep me from walking away. I NEED you to not allow the distance I sometimes try to create.
I WANT to clam up when you say it is time to talk about touchy subjects. I NEED you to demand full disclosure.
I WANT (sometimes) to get louder and louder and make sure I am heard. I NEED you to quiet me and not let this stupid thing escalate.
I WANT to steer this relationship and control the pace at which it moves (faster, please, faster!) I NEED to know you have the wheel.
I WANT to serve you when it is convenient. I NEED to know you will make it happen if it is your will.
I WANT to have sex when it is convenient. I NEED to know you feel my body is yours for the taking.
I WANT you to go easier on me. I NEED you to be more strict.
I WANT to throw out all the unwritten rules. I NEED so badly for you to be stern when you enforce them.
I WANT you to back down when you’ve made tears well up. I NEED you to never never never back down.
I WANT to hide any tears from you. I NEED you to be strong enough to face those tears and push on through. I NEED for you to be the only man in my life that knows you can cause the tears AND wipe them away.
I WANT to bat my eyelashes or unzip your pants and have you forget that nothing got checked off the list today. I NEED you to hold me accountable. (then take off your pants)
I WANT to think I’m a big-shot around here. I NEED to know who is boss.
There. See how easy I am to live with. **wink**
For Any Who Have Worried About Me....
I know that i have been dealing with a lot. My emotions have been a giant roller coaster. I can't even start to tell you how much I appreciate that you have not ran away screaming and instead have been there for me supporting me in ways that can't even begin to be covered by the words "love". "friendship" or even "sisterhood". I love everyone even through my downs. The fact is I know I am negative about myself as I deal with my illness and my pain, I forget there are people around who support me and don't want or need me dragging them down too. If you can accept my apology and all my hugs for still standing by me.. then HUG!
