Name into Positive Adjectives!

A friend of mine from SL had a really Amazing idea!
Turn your name into positive adjectives! ( Thank you Fifi- you know who you are)

so here is my name - April and i have to think of positives....

A = Adorable

P = Pert

R = Romantic

I = Independent 

L= Lovable 

I think these are the words that suit me best. I hope that others can agree!

A Quote I Saw...

" Submissives may have thick skins But they have weaker hearts  Fuck them roughly  But love them tenderly."

This is a quote that I got from a random Dom in Sl. Although the sentiment seems sincere I think many could argue that no submissive has a weak heart?

I believe they would be right too. A Submissive , with out doubt has to be strong and self confident. Capable of self control and full of love and devotion. All of these things make a submissive strong, independent and very able people! So , while you are fucking her hard, please remember that the heart that lays under  is both strong and beats loudly! Love her thoroughly both physically and mentally and she will give that back to you ten fold.

Embracing Your Warts (Thank you Aqua)

  So I receive this note card and it's absolutely brilliant . It talks about how we each have our differences and we need to embrace those  differences. Each of out differences are a purple wart. Some people will have more warts than another but they are what makes us wonderful and thus we should embrace our purple warts.

I would like to first say that my warts will be Pink. This is the color that I associate myself with the best and although many pick on me for this I will just have to think of that are just another Pink Wart.

Life is filled with differences. I am sure I am not the only one who feels like it doesn't matter where she goes she just can't fit in. I think there are so many people who like to stare at my Pink Warts. I am sure that people look at me as see each little Pink Wart and that is all that they see. I am also sure that I think I see my Pink Warts much more than they do. I don't believe , intelligent as I am, that they truly are staring at my Wart, but rather that I feel my Pink Warts all over myself and I am so focused on them that I forget to focus outward. I just have to remember every once in a while to reassess if worrying about m own Warts are just hurting my relationships with others who I know actually love me!

I am feeling a little like glass!

I am feeling a see through recently. I don't like the idea that people are looking through me recently. I want to be a little less translucent. I am not going to break at the first touch. I promise. I do hope that it isn't that because I am a bit emotional that people feel they aren't allowed to talk to me. I don't wonder if most of the time I exude the feeling that talking to me is impossible. I love people and my friends but often I feel that when I am hurting they can't see me. Once again I am worried that I am that glass lady again.

When I am not invisible I am the fragile china doll. I am almost sure this is my fault as well. I am sure that my littles lifestyle mixed with my emotional neediness as well as my tendency to cling. I know this puts men off because I don't want anything to do with sex. I want to be loved and adored and have my emotional supporter who will know how to reason with me well so that I don't force myself to drown.

I can see that this is a difficult situation for me and someone else. Often I don't know what I can expect from others when even I don't understand . Shakes head.. well I just hope in the end it turns out better than how it might be right now.

Wants Vs Need!!!!

I’d like to set the record straight.

I WANT to win this argument discussion.  I NEED to see you’ll stick to your guns.

I WANT you to pretend you didn’t see me roll my eyes.  I NEED you to not put up with it.

I WANT you to not mention that I forgot my cell phone again.  I NEED to know it upsets you because you care so deeply for my safety.

I WANT to walk away and not listen when you are reminding me (again) I have certain responsibilities around here.  I NEED you to keep me from walking away.  I NEED you to not allow the distance I sometimes try to create.

I WANT to clam up when you say it is time to talk about touchy subjects.  I NEED you to demand full disclosure.

I WANT (sometimes) to get louder and louder and make sure I am heard.  I NEED you to quiet me and not let this stupid thing escalate.

I WANT to steer this relationship and control the pace at which it moves (faster, please, faster!)  I NEED to know you have the wheel.

I WANT to serve you when it is convenient.  I NEED to know you will make it happen if it is your will.

I WANT to have sex when it is convenient.  I NEED to know you feel my body is yours for the taking.

I WANT you to go easier on me.  I NEED you to be more strict.

I WANT to throw out all the unwritten rules.  I NEED so badly for you to be stern when you enforce them.

I WANT you to back down when you’ve made tears well up.  I NEED you to never never never back down.

I WANT to hide any tears from you.  I NEED you to be strong enough to face those tears and push on through.  I NEED for you to be the only man in my life that knows you can cause the tears AND wipe them away.

I WANT to bat my eyelashes or unzip your pants and have you forget that nothing got checked off the list today.  I NEED you to hold me accountable. (then take off your pants)

I WANT to think I’m a big-shot around here.  I NEED to know who is boss.

There. See how easy I am to live with. **wink**

For Any Who Have Worried About Me....

I know that i have been dealing with a lot. My emotions have been a giant roller coaster. I can't even start to tell you how much I appreciate that you have not ran away screaming  and instead have been there for me supporting me in ways that can't even begin to be covered by the words "love". "friendship" or even "sisterhood". I love everyone even through my downs.  The fact is I know I am negative about myself  as I deal with my illness and my pain, I forget there are people around who support me and don't want or need  me dragging them down too. If you can accept my apology and all my hugs for still standing by me.. then HUG!

Here is a Thought I had randomly today....

I am not so bad to look at . I might be small figure and a carrot top , but so what. I am sure there are other out there who might like what I look like, so I must be doing OK.. Even some who tell me kindly that they think I am okay to look at that often makes me happy.